


Complex Conjunction

by orphan_account



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Gen, Humor, M/M, Mathematics, Other, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-24
Updated: 2014-08-24
Packaged: 2018-02-14 13:08:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2192949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cecil doesn't write only Jaws slash fic. After all, what could be more romantic than writing a slash fic for your boyfriend about his OTP?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Complex Conjunction

**Complex Conjunction**

abitwiththeshark

**Summary:** Two scatter plot matrices investigate the Science...of love. 

**Notes:**  
For  ExistenceExcitement_TheScientist

I'd like to thank your-fandom-is-stupid for editing. I didn't make any of the changes she suggested, so I included her comments as Notes at the end.

(See the end of the work for notes.) 

They were never intended to meet. The professor had placed them in Question 2 and Question 7, almost as far apart as the exam would allow. But in that quiet exam hall, the air thick with nerves and perspiration, one student accidentally multiplied together the Identity Matrix and the Transformation Matrix. 

Identity had always been shy, preferring their own company to seeking out strangers. They certainly would never have picked a crowded exam hall, hundreds of students' bodies separated by nothing but society's rules, as a place to meet someone. But Transformation had always lived on the edge, and today was no exception. Their eyes met, and Identity felt a familiar stirring. Felt an anticipation that was more than mere logic could explain. Identity broke the gaze first, unsure if they were more excited or terrified that the student might not realize her mistake until the cross-multiplication was complete. 

In a moment, Transformation was beside Identity. Identity tried not to stare at their smooth lines. Or at least, to keep it subtle. Of course, nothing was lost on Transformation. "Hey, nothing to be shy about here. I'm used to people appreciating my proportions. Want a closer look?" 

Identity's breath caught. What Transformation had proposed was innocent enough, but there was no mistaking the look that came with it. "Here?" they squeaked. "In front of everyone?" 

"Look around. Everyone's eyes are on their own page. Besides, what if someone does glance up and see you, numbers quivering? Imagine the poor student. The TA is accusing them of cheating and all they can think about it how you looked as your size increased by a factor of y." Transformation came closer, whispered, "This is all for you. I won't change a bit when this is done. But you - you'll never feel the same." 

Identity nodded, suddenly fearless. Or perhaps still fearful, the nerves only adding to the excitement in a blend so pleasurable it was impossible to tell where one ended and the other began. "Yes. Please." Transformation began manipulating Identity's numbers, slowly at first, but with a sense of assurance. This was nothing new to Transformation, though there was a glow of happiness at seeing any matrix unravel and change before then. And there was something about Identity that made this especially fun. Transformation increased their pace, loving the soft noises Identity was making. Finally Identity cried out, "I'm coming!" As the numbers exploded, Transformation watched them scatter. They seemed to make a graph - a plot. 

**Notes:**

Here are the comments from your-fandom-is-stupid. 

1:51 PM: NOPE

2:08 PM: NOT HAPPENING PALMER 

3:23 PM: Cecil, you clearly don't know the difference between a scatter plot matrix and a regular matrix. I would explain it to you but I don't care. 

3:25 PM: A scatter plot matrix is used by statisticians to look for correlations between variables. It is /not/ what happens when a matrix has an orgasm. 

3:27: Also, that's not what a complex conjugate is. 

3:28: No. Not romantically OR mathematically. 

3:30: I'm leaving. I'm going to hang out with Dana while she does Mayor stuff. Hopefully she can help me repress the memory of your fic. DO NOT POST THIS.


End file.
